guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
