Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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