I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
