Its about making memories worth repressing
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
