you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
