I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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