so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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