She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he thought i was a dude.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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