dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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