is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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