we're blogging at a bar
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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