I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
