I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
