I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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