fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
