Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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