saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
