big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
