I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
