you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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