Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
