The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
