I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
