my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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