i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
