so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
