i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
