Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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