What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
