my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
