I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize