So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
