kristin has been a bad kristin
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
