Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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