We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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