You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize