So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize