Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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