saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
