Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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