I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
