Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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