I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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