Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
