I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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