I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
