she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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