i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
