No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
