Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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