He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
