thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
