I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
