i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize