im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
