yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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