Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
