sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
