He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just gift wrapped bread.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize