Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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