The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
