remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
