i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
