You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
