I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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