When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
