I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
