So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
