I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
