who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just want to make out with him forever
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
