Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We got so high we made milksteak
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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